She said No

My heart breaks for them, but what's tragic to me is not the embarrassment of the moment. I know from experience the heat of that eventually fades to nothing. People forget, move on.

It's the competitive fairytale aspect of the moment that makes my skin crawl. People really have no idea of the commitment to which they are agreeing. We spend more time working out the marketing of it. "How cool would it be to..." Nauseating.

Within five months of marriage, my husband became seriously ill with a near-rupture of his appendix and a several week hospital stay. Still, even without these rare catastrophes, there are bills and schedules and preferences and compromises and duties and disappointments and struggles and heart breaks. For those who approach the experience authentically, there can be joy, intimacy, bonding, friendship, trust, elation, familiarity, sharing, and love. These are the just the beginning of what we risk when we ask and say yes. It's a contract of agreement through the years, meant to last but often doesn't. Can we at least dignify it with a more appropriate exchange than the kiss cam at a sporting event?

Life is not a series of fairytale moments. Surely, we know this. Why do we punctuate the major transitions of our lives in such pithy, shallow, and irreverent ways? Do you really want to ask someone to be with you, beside you, forever if you aren't already sure of what their response will be? In a sporting event? On camera? On YouTube?!