Clever Boy

Sweet Boy

As I parent of a two year old, I do a fair amount of thinking about gender differences and the roles genetics and environment play in our thoughts about what it means to be male or female. I also wonder about the future Jackson, what kind of man he will be and whether I can have any lasting influence on how he treats himself and others.

We live in the deep South and I was lost in list and thought that day on the cereal aisle when I heard the voice of a man pleasantly addressing Jackson and conversing quite animatedly with him. Jackson had a very brief period of stranger anxiety before he turned two but hasn’t met a stranger since then. His general demeanor (with everyone but me, apparently, on occasion) is enthusiastic contentedness. He is just one of those happy little boys.

This fact was not lost on our cereal aisle friend, who remarked repeatedly on what a “sweet boy” Jackson is.

Then a shift. And then the disclaimers.

Well, I only had little girls, you see, and he is sweeter than any little girl I have ever known. Well, I mean, he is the sweetest child, boy or girl. I’m sure he’s a little rough and tumble guy. Well, you know what I mean. I bet his daddy plays good with him…

Painful.

Maybe it was a generational thing. Here’s a man of a certain age, probably with daughters my age, struggling with a well-meaning compliment that somehow turned into an accusation.

Weird.

I felt sorry for him. He wasn’t trying to make a statement on the nature and origin of gender differences. He was simply enjoying interaction with a little boy thoroughly amused by his face and the sound of his voice. They were delighting in each other and the communication taking place between them. It was perfect and harmless and fun.

I wish that I could have said something to make the guy feel better. All the explaining and clarifying just wasn’t necessary. Jackson IS a sweet boy. There is a sweetness about him that draws people close to us when we are out in town. Why can’t boys be sweet without there being some kind of stigma attached to it?

Are we terrified that attributing any quality to a male child that is deemed effeminate in our culture will “turn him gay”?

With no disrespect intended whatsoever toward our friend in aisle five, I reject this notion and I also reject the prejudice and ignorance that feed it.

Mollie Corbett Photography

Mollie Corbett Photography launched the new website this past Friday night. Take a look. More to come but this should get it going for now.

Me 'n my Cuz Katelyn